Baby Land

Being pregnant is a little more all-encompassing of my time and thoughts than I thought it would. Every bite I put in my mouth, every place that I go, every activity that I participate in, I have to ask myself, "How will this affect the baby?" That alone is exhausting!

Plus, there is the regular exhaustion of the first trimester. I can't get through a day without a nap (or two or three) and I sleep well at night, until 3 or 4 in the morning. I'm not often hungry, but when I am I am ravenous. I can eat about half of what I would have eaten before getting pregnant, and then I feel so full and bloated I immediately regret it. I force myself to eat and drink things that I don't necessarily like because they are good for the baby. Ugh.

Also, I hurt. Ache. EVERYWHERE. My abdomen (because the muscles are stretching as my uterus grows), my back, my breasts--oh god, my breasts are a topic unto themselves. They have gotten very big, almost too big for my 38C bras, and so tender that I have to sleep in a bra at night...and even then, rolling over or lying on my stomach is agony.

I had to stop taking my allergy meds, so they are haywire at the moment, and that makes my sinuses, eyes and cheeks ache. Fortunately, I haven't had any of the mood swings normally associated with early pregnancy, and I'm usually pretty sore and physically miserable but mentally happy. Content.

I guess there's something to that whole "glowing pregnant lady" thing. I just feel serene and optimistic. I don't worry as much about things I can't control, and instead spend a lot of time thinking about the little peanut inside of me. Is it a boy or a girl? Will it be short like us? Blonde or brunette? Healthy? Will I be able to have a regular delivery? Where is the crib going? Should I get a stroller, or try to stick to a Baby Bjorn? What will we name it? Will Mike stay at home or will we get a babysitter? When should we have the shower? Should I try to work right up tot he delivery, or take the semester off? Public school or montessori?

I notice I'm easily distracted, tend to daydream and drift off into my little cotton-swaddled baby land.

This may be our only child (Mike is lobbying for one and only one) so I'm trying to enjoy this time as much as I can. Y'know, apart from wanting to cut my boobs off.